Keys to overcoming Pornography in our Home

    There are probably lots of sources both online and in book form, secular and Christian, that have useful information concerning sex that can be helpful to a married couple or to those who are to be married soon. The treatment bellow is not directed at such good sources but explicit hardcore pornographic sites that are sinful, addictive, and detrimental to our spiritual life.   

 

  Do we really need to establish today that Porn is a hellish sin? Isn't it obvious? Apparently not! Shouldn't a redeemed people shy away from humanity depicted at it's worst? Theoretically, they should but practically they don't. We can tell this from statistics such as that collected by the Barna group and the response given by people from different backgrounds and sections of society, to questions regarding the use of Pornography. Although well forewarned of the dangers of lust in scripture, a lot of people including Christians naively venture into these internet hell-holes called porn sites that are gateways into the sickest debauchery known to man. This is partly due to Porn being easily accessible through the net, right inside our home and only a few mouse clicks away. Those who flirt with online porn, soon enough find themselves, getting deeper and deeper to where they become addicted and find it difficult to free themselves. Once porn gets its hook in us, we become enslaved to it and find it hard to pry ourselves from it. It turns into a regular habitual ritual in which one seeks to procure excitement that they were only supposed to get from a marriage bed. How can we overcome the problem of pornography in our homes? The chapter bellow is a short account that seeks to shed God's light on this very serious matter.     

Porn as Warfare

The Devil is in the conception and details    

   

   We wouldn’t do justice to the topic of pornography if we didn’t try to show that it has satanic roots. This can be a tricky task as sex was something good given to us by God for intimacy and joy in marriage. Mr. Briggs endearing article quoted here, that talks about the life of the now deceased porn actress, Linda Boreman gives us an inkling into porn's demonic roots. The article documents innuendos made by Linda that she was forced to do sex acts with animals, she was threatened and abused often and that there was frequent drug use by her and her husband/producer while working with the mob as overseer. If it proves nothing else, Linda's life shows that porn started as a mob contraband just like liquor in it's early years. What is porn but a false fantasy sold to us, that is birthed in the deep recesses of hell itself, in order to destroy us. It must be one of the adversaries’ favorite weapons to degrade people and turn them into something animalistic and something much lower than what they were created to be; in God's image.  Maybe you don’t believe in the existence of a horned and hoofed fiend. We don’t either; we believe the real devil is much more sinister than Hollywood's classic portrayal of him. How does he operate? Let's take a closer look.

 

The Power of suggestion    

 

   Perhaps you have had an experience when all of a sudden a sick, sensual thought came into your head. You sense that it came from somewhere close, you even think it's from your own mind. You could have left it alone but you follow through with it and act on it, only to regret that you did. How many times has that happened to us and yet we fall for it again and again? That is the power Satan has still, to slip in an idea in order to tempt us, make us fall, control us and if possible even posses us. As a fallen celestial creature, yet limited by God in his activities, one of Satan’s methods of attack is the power of suggestion.   

Begin to filter your thoughts and identify the foreign ones by putting them in light of the whole counsel of God.  

   

The suggestiveness of movies    

 

   We can take this truth further by saying that there is nothing more suggestive than a moving picture. All Satan has to do is influence and possess unregenerate men motivated by greed, lust and power and use them to produce movies to disseminate his evil, sinister  plan. As the god of this world, Satan has temporary access into our realm that allows him to suggest, tempt and lie in order to blind us to God’s truth. He might say things like, “Your husband doesn’t love you.” Or “You are not pretty” or “There is money in the sex industry” Attacking the mind with such suggestions may be all he has to do, to lead men with a selfish nature to do his will; our own fallen-ness and corruption will do the rest.

Therefore, it’s not that far fetched to say that he uses Pornography to tempt, entrap and enslave people into sin. How and why he does this and why he is allowed to continue (for now) is subject for a branch of theology called ‘theodicy’ ( the study about the existence of evil in the world) We won’t get into it very deeply here but we will assert simply that it is true (A study in the book of Job and the gospels illustrates the reality that the devil exists and is sometimes allowed to tempt people through sorrow, disease, lack, desire suffering and other ways)

    It's a biblically well established fact that Satan's methodology is to lie and tempt people, make them fall and destroy them any which way he can. Eve and Judas are prime examples of this in scripture. We will stipulate and try to prove here that pornography is one of major ways Satan does this today. As soon as film became invented in the last century men had already started to use it for making 'naked pictures'. This continues up until today when tech savvy teens do 'sexting'. The fact that porn became a protected form of free speech where as only a few decades ago it was an outlawed contraband is a sad footnote in our history and an indication of where things are moving in our world

Prophetic insight: At a certain place, The Bible, lumps all such activity, behavior and lifestyle and calls it spiritual Sodom (To what else can Rev 11:8, Isa 1:9 refer to, except the apex of sinfulness), as an emerging element of one of the signs of the last days and very last hours, where moral and spiritual life would have deteriorated in our world, to the point of requiring God's intervention and judgment, the way it did in the time of Sodom. Just think how much sin we have become used to in our time, it's getting to the point where we are getting a taste of the pressures that Lot must have felt while living in Sodom.

Porn in a Christian marriage and churches  

A cursed booty  

What does a redeemed people have to do with partaking of material showing humanity behaving at it’s worst. Instead of praying for their conversion should we partake of their sin?

 

    There may be good ways of using one’s imagination in order to make one's marriage exiting in the bedroom; but using pornography is not one of them and will have the opposite effect. Allowing Pornography in a Christian home is like sneaking in Achan’s booty (Joshua 7; 1-26) ; it can only result in judgment and destruction. The word in the camp during defeat was "There are things under the ban in your midst, O Israel"
What was it about that Canaanite booty that was heinous? Naked pictures and/or Canaanite gods?

In any case, we shouldn’t expect God to bless us unless we have repented and stop permitting it's uses in our homes. Also, because the pornography pictures today tend to show extreme depravity, the same spirit can enter a once wholesome marriage and destroy it. It can create a feeling of inferiority and an unfair comparison with ‘professional‘actors and their acts who almost always have exaggerated sex drives and and/or over-enhanced physique. These will serve to create cracks in marriages that along with other factors can help destroy it. We will throw the follwing advice out of our hat for someone.     

Stop watching porn; you can't use a sinful merchandise to build a holy marriage, you will only destroy it. The way you will see your spouse will start to change and you may never recover that giddy kind of love you had at the beginning.

Lessons about warfare from the old Testament.

When Balaam, a prophet for hire and Balak the wicked king of Moab conspired to destroy Israel, they found out to their dismay that ISRAEL was blessed and protected by God. It’s interesting that the next mode of attack they tried was not a military one but a spiritual one (Revelation 2:14) according to Jesus words. By making the men of  Israel to fall into sin with the strange women of Moab, they were able to score a considerable victory against a previously impregnable force by making God angry at them. Even so today, Satan uses the same technique to attack and destroy the people of God. Pornography is really the same ancient technique tailored for today using current technologies. The people of God need to be aware and be forewarned and stay away from  it.

Porn: A Red Line not to be crossed  
 

     Porn addiction is an example of the enemies 'trap door' bondage in which people can fall into while on an illicit search for gratification. Besides, if one is satisfied with the imaginary and the virtual why go look for the real thing?

   

A Scriptural Foundation  
 

     The Lord Said, "He who looks upon a woman to lust after her has committed adultery with her already in his heart"(Matthew 5:28) The usage of both verbs in "he who looks.. to.. lust" intensifies the act to where just looking at people and admiring their natural attributes is precluded from being sin. We look at people everyday and we say "She is beautiful" or "He is handsome". This is obviously not what should be understood to be sin.   

 

     Jesus' use of "he who looks" and "lusts" makes his statement fit aptly to the use of pornography we see in our world today. It fits so well in fact that it would seem like when he spoke it, He had anticipated a time, when men would streamline lust, first on paper and later on the new media technologies, as they have today. Being God and prophet He must have peered through time and given us a warning so we could be repentant of this scourge.  What are we doing but looking and lusting when we watch Porn. Jesus statement can be reworded to apply to women also as they can also be guilty of such sins. She who looks upon a man to lust after him has committed adultery in her heart. We need to know and be convicted that watching porn is adultery of the heart and mind, a sin which should be hated and one if not repented is terminal to our spiritual life and growth. Eve, King David, Clinton, Tiger Woods, the list goes on and on of the people who "looked upon" and "Lusted" and experienced a great downfall. Each had brought terrible consequences and judgments upon themselves which also affected those around them as well. We find in Hebrews the following quote,   

   

Marriage is to be held in honor among all, and the marriage bed is to be undefiled; for fornicators and adulterers God will judge. Hebrews 13:4  

   

Internet Porn: The New Idolatry   

 

    It used to be people had to go to the seedy part of town wearing a trench coat with the collar up in order to hide their identity, while they browsed the sex shops and the coin operated peep shows. Today, due to the fact that porn sites are easily accessed and because they can be entered with relative anonymity, it’s easy to think we can get away with surfing porn on the net without fear of being labeled a pervert. It has also become very easy to think we can keep it a secret form everyone and believe that people are not watching. We can also convince ourselves that it won’t harm us or those around us, but this is a serious deception.    We might think that no one is watching(Someone probably is; almost all our activities online are logged somewhere!) God is however watching and grieves and the people around us are very much affected by us watching porn. We might ask how or why is this true? It's true, because of the spiritual lukewarm-ness[6] that ensues from sin. While we are supposed to be burning filaments and be a light to those around us[7] we will have our spiritual light extinguished due to this idolatrous sin of worshiping in front of gross lewd images coming through our computer’s screen. Men who are the designated leaders and priests of the home will have become prisoners who are ineffective in discharging their holy duties to lead and minister to their families.

Lies and Excuses

“You will not surely die”  

  Those of us who succumb to wondering into online porn sites, tell ourselves the same lies Satan told Eve “you shall not surely die, but your eyes will be open to be able to see good and evil” Porn is most certainly the forbidden fruit of our generation that we ought to stay away from. Some of the lies we tell ourselves to ease our conscience when we open up this literal and figurative window (on our PC screen) to watch porn are the following.  

 

Common lies we tell ourselves:-  0. I am lonely, god will understand 1. It won’t affect me or harm me. 2. I can stop any time I want.   3. To watch Porn is not a sin it's those who produce it that are sinning.  4. I am doing research to study the subject. (please! C'mon! ) 5. It will bring excitement to our marriage. 6. It will help me to learn techniques to spice up my marriage.   7. God must have allowed it to exist for a reason(C'mon!). Also refer *.

It’s dangerous

keep your mind out of the gutter   

 

    The dangers and pitfalls of being involved with porn are many. There is plenty of research from unbiased scientists about the adverse effects of porn on people, like for example the onset of depression on some. We will only state a few here from common observation.

Let’s begin with what it does to us individually. First, Porn introduces us to perversions and debauchery of the worst kind and stains our mind and stays in our memory’s registry for a long time. Therefore, we can say that every time we read or watch Pornography we are being permanently marked with sick, lewd images of debauchery and the words or images will stay in our memory bank for quite some time affecting us in our daily lives. Our self esteem can also be hurt by the use of porn which is no doubt habit forming. Secondly, we can be led to try to act out what we see in porn, in real life. Most rapes for example, have porn as some sort of ingredient before they occur. Thirdly, it demeans and degrades our perceptions of people around us, making us to see them as objects for sex and lust. It utterly corrupts us and can turn even the most innocent from among us into a pervert. No generation had to deal with what we have seen happen with the proliferation of porn happening in the world today. It has spilled over into the main stream affecting everyone and sparing no one including our very young, who are getting exposed to it at a much earlier age than ever before. Lastly, as the sin that it is, porn will drain us of a healthy thriving spiritual life. If we don’t repent from it our prayer life will dry up, lacking fellowship, intimacy and life from God.  

Also being that we have brought in a detestable idol in our midst, it will stand as a wedge between us and our God hindering our intimacy and prayer. We need to get rid of it, if it's present in our home.    

 

     Besides us, porn can hurt others around us and near us. It can hurt marriages by introducing sex acts that may be unhealthy, violent, perverse or unnatural. Couples who partake of porn get cheated out of real love and intimacy, instead to emulate strange sex acts from the satanically inspired world of porn. When we surf porn we risk exposing someone young or impressionable which is a heinous sin according to Jesus. (Mark 9:42).
   
Many serial rapists and murderers trace the inception of their crime spree to porn. The convicted and executed serial killer Ted Bundy for example said in his last interview that soft porn was the gateway drug into his crime spree.  If we don’t stop feeding our minds with Porno, we will be in serious jeopardy of coming into a bondage that can destabilize our spiritual life, our walk with God and how we see and relate to people around us. We might succumb to seeking to live out the fantasies from porn in real life situations; we will start to see people around us with a sexually evil eye. We might think that won’t ever happen to us but all it takes is the slight impairment that comes from use of drugs or alcohol to put us over the edge and do something we thought we would never do. We would then have graduated from the world of fantasy into reality and actual commission; from the sin of the mind and heart to the sin of the flesh.     

I am addicted to Porn? What should I do?     

1. "Look to those things that are above" 

  We in fact become complicit in the sin of others when we purchase or even simply consume porn. “Shall I then take away the members of Christ, and make them members of a harlot .. But he that is joined unto the Lord is one spirit”(I Corinthians 6:17)
Therefore, Stop! Granted we will sometimes need to inquire good information about making love and the anatomical and physiological functions of our bodies, we should be careful about where we go to get information and advice. We are deceiving ourselves if we tell ourselves that we are visiting Hard Core pornographic sites or magazines to get good information on how to make love with our spouse. There are many good secular and christian sources both off and online geared towards helping a married couple. It’s better to remain naive and discover the joys of sex by experimenting with our spouses than rely on something evil and sinful like hardcore pornography and drink it's venom. The Bible teaches that we remain innocent concerning things that are evil (Romans 16:19, Revelations 2:24). Porn is definitely one area where curiosity killed the cat.

Set your affection on things above, not on things on the earth. For ye are dead, and your life is hid with Christ in God. When Christ, who is our life, shall appear, then shall ye also appear with him in glory (Colosians 3:1-4)

However, If you have somehow opened the door to internet pornography and have become addicted and want to be free, you can do so by simply repenting, asking for forgiveness and committing to use the net only for its better purposes. Install software filters to protect you family and have an accountability pact with your spouse where you both promise to be transparent, pray for one another and assure each other of your love. There are many anti-virus software like Zone-alarm's security suite, which include a parental control feature that locks out pornographic and Hack websites, that can be downloaded and installed for less than $50. This can help assure that children surf the net safely when parents are not present to monitor what they are doing. The Bible teaches that we set our imagination on things above, not beneath and have a though life focused on things, good pure, productive and clean.
  . 

2. A Good counsel “Flee fornication” and “be ye separate”

              

God’s Word concerning any form of sexual Immorality is always to run from it and stay away from it. It’s as simple as that. Because we are inundated with sexually provocative material in magazines, billboards and commercials, we have to be creative in how we practice these two simple pieces of advice from God’s word.

  

The word “Parabis” in Greek meaning a 'trespass-sin' in the New Testament and is used to mean trespassing a clearly stated commandment (Romans 4:15, 5:14; Galatians 3:19). Likewise we need to be convicted that going to a porn site is a ‘Parabis’, a spiritual trespass of God’s word that repeatedly says “do not enter, the sin of lust kills.”(Leviticus 18:29). As it turns out the internet has evolved to have some more safe guards in-bedded due to the outcry that followed its heyday when it was flooded with free flowing porn access. It's still not that hard to find and watch pornography online. However, because of the new federal rules put into law to protect minors, porn sites have to ask users to verify their age before allowing anyone to enter their website.   

Next time you stumble upon this first page, consider it a warning not to go inside. If you do, you are committing a ‘Parabis’, a trespass into somewhere where the Lord does not want you to go. If you find that you habitually do this please take this time to ask God for forgiveness and take steps to eliminate the use of pornography in your life. God's grace and mercy always has a ready smile for a repentant sinner.



References for Further Study
 

[1] Matthew 5:28

[1] I wish you were hot or cold

[1] Timothy save yourself and those around you

[1] Mark 9: 42

[1] I Corinthians 6: 15, 17)

[1] The Act of Marriage: Tim and Beverly Lahaye

[h] I Corinthians 6: 18

[i] II Corinthians 6:17;l

[1] Romans 4:15, 5:14; Galatians 3:19

[1] Proverbs “a young man who goes to the door of an adulterous woman”

[r] Jesus said, "He who makes one of these little ones to stumble it would be better for him if he had a milestone around his neck and thrown into the sea"

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[1] Joe Bob Briggs, Linda’s Life: A sad story, and its impact on us all. http://old.nationalreview.com/comment/comment-briggs042502.asp

[2] Job, Eve and Jesus were all tempted and propositioned different things

[3] [3] Joe Bob Briggs, Linda’s Life: A sad story, and its impact on us all.

[4] Achan whose family was stoned under Joshua’s leadership(Joshua)

[5] Matthew 5:28

[6] lukewarm

[7]Porn as a weapon of Spiritual Warfare

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Seeing People Through Christ and allowing Him to grow them

Excerpt from chapter: searching for the one
Never Lonely by Heli Tad

 Seeing and growing people through Him


Probably the most important principle that needs mention here is that we need to look at people as a work being completed. “He that has began a good work in you will perform it until..” the end(Phil. 1:6). This means that the people we are looking at (ourselves included) will be missing something and may not have all the ingredients we would have liked to have in our prospective mates, spouses or neighbors. However, the fact that Christ is in them gives us hope and assurance that they are being progressively beautified by the greatest sculptor in the universe who will improve and perfect them  through time. We just need to make sure that they are in Christ. We need not reject people easily or only want people who are perfect. We also shouldn’t be too quick to judge people but should rather give them a break when they make mistakes the way The lord does with us.  We should quickly dethrone ourselves from the position of being their judge to which we were never elected and install ourselves as a disciple-disciple-er, to humbly and kindly teach them what we have learned and show them things that elude them. The simple truth is that after the fall, we are all in various degrees of nakedness, for which Christ has come in order to cloth us with his own righteousness(Galatians 3:27) . When we understand this, we won’t look down upon anyone, but we will allow The Holy Spirit to use us towards the end of helping them put on Christ’s righteousness and to grow into His likeness(Ephesians 4:14-16, I John 3:2) .

Seeing "Two and a half men" through a morality prism, or Dear Charlie

“Two and a half men” starring Charlie Sheen, sticks to a recipe that flaunts a hedonistic portrayal of relationships in order to get laughter. Instead of boycotting the show for its 'in your face' hedonism we somehow forgive Charlie and laugh away at the jokes. Why? Well there is(was) a little cute boy in the show(who has since grown up) and Charlie's philandering are a result of him being raised by a doosie of a narcissistic mother. Also, the comedy and sarcasm is so good that we hardly notice the serious moral glitches paraded throughout the show. The show is smartly couched against an outcry with many shades of Grey that makes it blend into a strange normalcy we have become used to in the current cultural atmosphere. It's only when put against a white background(scripture) that its moral fuzz begins to differentiate and become visible. In it's bare form it insidiously challenges the very fabric of society by shall we say, "daring the male ego to seek to go to heights of debauchery".

It's true, the character Charlie has some identifiable likability; he has bouts with his conscience and he is certainly way cooler than his eccentric brother played by Jon Cryer (who Charlie generously allows to live with him along with his son). Just don't bring your fiancee within 50 yards of him or your wife for that matter. Yes, Charlie also commits adultery and once had gotten a black eye to prove it. He also usually drowns out his downturn in mood by drinking profusely and needs to see his therapist quite often. Can't even Charlie see that he must stop somewhere?

Getting away with murder

"That Charlie, 'har har', I tell you, is a smooth criminal." And so the mockery continues with Charlie laughing it up all the way to a ratings heaven and to a syndication blitz of a show about gross immorality. To be fair, Charlie Sheen is just an actor in the show who is only lending his 'academy award' caliber acting ability to such an inspiring production(sarcastically speaking). Assigning blame may not be easy in these situations. Is it the writers, the producers or the audience who is at fault? It suffices to say something is wrong and we are still waiting for the moral of this show to emerge. Is it that a life of philandering makes you hate yourself or that you should never grow up to stop chasing women? We give up; trying to find a moral in this show is like trying to eat spaghetti with a spoon. I don't think they are even trying Vern; are they?
It would seem as if every excuse possible is being created to corroborate the premise that Charlie's hedonism is cool or justified.

Analyzing Charlie

A conservatively minded, family oriented audience might find itself getting drawn in for a little while and might even occasionally sympathize with Charlie's pathos, only to end up being let down and infuriated as it watches the story lines descend extreme south very fast. Therefore the show should be visited and convicted with the old and yet still valid charge of being a corrupter of morals and promulgator of indecency. And yet, if there wasn't too much crude suggestive language and behavior and blatant debauchery put on a lot of the(ratings week?)episodes, we would have liked to give the writers more credit to having documented the classic American neurosis of wanting too much more than what this life can give, or what can be described in a simple term as selfishness. "How much is enough?"; "Remember that line from 'Wall Street', Charlie?" Which leads to the crux and apex of man's spiritual quest that says, "Where is satisfaction to be gotten for the human heart?" We will volunteer a clue to the answer; It's to be found at Jacob's well (read John Chapter 4).

Can Charlie be redeemed? Yes, we hope

It's obvious Charlie is stuck in a loop, why don't the producers seek a new direction for the show by finally giving Charlie a solid moral dimension instead of the fake 'eyes raised to heaven' prayers we see him do in a mockery of true spirituality. Maybe this time around, a 'new' Charlie can be written as an upstanding guy trying to stay on the straight and narrow, vending of the temptations that come at him and guarding himself from a relapse into 'old Charlie'(That would be a wonderful exploration if anyone is listening). Some of the other characters could also be written to having their own epiphanies. Charlie has grown and is currently in a monogamous relationship but keeps having double and triple visions which is an improvement still over his heyday when he used to bring home a new girl or prostitute every night. However, he keeps coming short of the promised land called fidelity even with the best of candidates. His fear of commitment we are told is due to him having mother issues having to do with, what else, but one of the religions of modernity, Freudian principles.

One can always dream

Maybe someone will write in an ending where Charlie has a conversion experience, even if only in an alternate universe, but we are only dreaming (sure, anything but that, as it would effectively kill Charlie the depressed "horn-dog" the bread winner of this show). And anyways, a show called Fringe running on another network is using that angle; we might have to tune in there next week instead.

Our 'beef' with the show

Someone will say, "There are fine, subtle points to these shows we need to appreciate, along with the biting sarcasm and a well written and acted comedy." To which we will reply, "Subtle points, really?! which ones?" Sure, it's superbly written and acted with a type of comedy that makes a farce of those things we all should hold sacred. Whatever other subtleties there might be are drowned out completely or forgotten while we unwillingly laugh at the sheer suggestiveness of the lines spoken in the show. Someone else might even suggest that these shows are the last bastions of a straight entertainment, as if God were to carry a bigger stick for one sin over against another. The truth is, a bold sin encourages other even bolder types of sin. Can someone please establish boundaries for sexual conduct for Charlie and the other characters in this show? If doing so makes it boring then we will at least have laughed without guilt being mixed in. Yet someone else will say, if you don't like it just don't watch it. We say, "Amen!, perhaps we won't"

The sign of the times: Repent

Once we have lit the barn on fire, there is no point in trying to save the hay. That's what sin does to our communities; it spreads like fire and ultimately it destroys lives; so we don't compromise with it, we put it out, by repenting(meta-noeo: greek for turning or changing of our mind) and turning our backs on it once and for all and embracing Christ's wonderful offer of his own pure and righteous life instead. Unlike when our buddies tell us to quit something, the power of the word "repentance" has great authority because it's heaven's council to someone living a wayward lifestyle. It's a council which we pray Charlie would also heed as God would accept and love and change him also.

Comedy and redemption

If you were to ask what hat the devil was wearing these days, comedy has to be one of his favorite five. What we as a people find funny can serve as gauge as to where we are in the history of western culture, where once upon a time Christianity held sway. Today, both seemingly and apparently, people want their fill of selfish indulgence as a right of passage before having to commit to any relationships. Comedy more than any other single art form encourages that. The way back from our dark digressions can be as simple as a genuine turning of our hearts to God who loves sinners. Charlie, we hope you will one day find redemption also.

The Waiting - Speak

Sitcom Morality & TV's salvation

The Value system inside The American Sitcoms
“the seat of the mockers”; “What can the just do?”

Television is often a loner’s staple diet and everyone else's junk food. The sweet covered poison capsules, that come to us through TV sitcoms can be awful tempting to emulate and become the playbook of life for a lot of singles. This is especially true where there is an an alarming absence of alternative programs that have a true godly, biblical vision that are able to compete in this genre(Except perhaps for Mr. Tyler Perry, Thank you!). Sure, some of these programs are hilarious and make us laugh and they may even have some useful, helpful qualities but they chip away at divine, eternal foundational principles that have to do with how we ought to live and which ought to be revered by everyone. Instead, mockery is made out of love, marriage, Christianity, The Commandments and even God himself; so woe is us.

In spite of the fact that sitcoms based on a married couple like 'Raymond' have proven that 'the funnies' don't have to come at the expense of morality and that audiences love them, the current slew of sitcoms and dramas, like for example, “Two and a half men” starring Charlie Sheen, stick to a recipe that flaunts a hedonistic portrayal of relationships in order to get laughter. Instead of boycotting the show for its 'in your face' hedonism we somehow forgive Charlie and laugh away at the jokes. Why? Well there is(was) a little cute boy in the show(who has since grown up) and Charlie's philandering are a result of him being raised by a doosie of a narcissistic mother. Also, the comedy and sarcasm is so funny we will hardly notice the serious moral glitches paraded in the show. It's true, Charlie has some identifaible likeability; he has bouts with his conscience and he is certainly way cooler than his eccentric brother played by Jon Cryer. Just don't bring your fiancee within 50 yards of him or your wife for that matter. Yes, Charlie also commits adultery and once had a black eye to prove it. He also usually drowns out his downturn in mood by drinking profusely and needs to see his therapist once in a while.

"That Charlie, 'har har', I tell you, is a smooth criminal." The mockery continues with Charlie laughing it up all the way to a ratings heaven and to a syndication blitz of an immoral/amoral show. To be fair, Charlie Sheen is just an actor in the show who is only lending his 'academy award' caliber acting ability to such an inspiring(not) production, so assigning blame may not be easy in these situations. Is it the writers or the producers or the audience who is at fault? It suffices to say something is wrong and we are still waiting for the moral of this show. Is it that a life of Philandering makes you hate yourself or that you should never grow up to stop chasing the ladies? Maybe someone will write in an ending where Charlie has a conversion experience, even if only in an alternate universe, but we are only dreaming (they would do anything but that as it would effectively kill Charlie the 'horn-dog' as he is often called). And anyways, such a show like that called Fringe is already running on another network; we will probably tune in there next week.

Someone will say, "There are fine, subtle points to these shows we need to appreciate, along with the biting sarcasm and a well written and acted comedy." To which we will reply, "Subtle points, really?! which ones?" Sure, it's superbly written and acted with a type of comedy that makes a farce of those things we all should hold sacred. Whatever other subtleties there might be are drowned out completly or forgotten while we unwillingly laugh at the sheer suggestivness of the lines spoken in the show. Someone else might even suggest that these shows are the last bastions of a straight entertainment, as if God were to carry a bigger stick for one sin over against another. Yet someone else will say, if you don't like it don't watch it. To which we reply, "If It's not good for a 12 year old you shouldn't sell it either, because that's who will/might end up watching it"

Once we have lit the barn on fire, there is no point in trying to save the hay. That's what sin does to our communities; it spreads like fire and ultimately it destroys lives; so we don't compromise with it, we put it out, by repenting(meta-noeo: greek for turning or changing of our mind) and turning our backs on it once and for all and embracing Christ's wonderful offer of his own pure and righteous life instead. Unlike when our buddies tell us to quit something, the power of the word "repentance" has great authority because it's heaven's council to someone living a wayward lifestyle.

If you were to ask what hat the devil was wearing these days, comedy has to be one of his favorite five. What we as a people find funny can serve as gauge as to where we are in the history of western culture, where once upon a time Christianity held sway. Today, both seemingly and apparently, people want their fill of selfish indulgence as a right of passage before having to commit to any relationships. They form convenient short term agreements for mutual gratification that are supposed to be ‘freeing’ such as the one made between Elaine and Seinfeld. In a particular episode Elaine and Seinfeld make a pact to sleep together without having to do the 'cumbersome' things that come with a real relationship. To be fair to the said characters, they only articulated the selfishness and sin smoldering beneath the veneer of a 'respectable' modern society. Of course, as even the characters eventually found out, it turns out that it’s not really freeing at all but rather a deceptive lie that traps people in a cycle of sinful liaisons, one regrettable affair after another. Sure, Joey and the other characters from the show 'Friends' might be nice but do they have to go to bed with a different person on every other episode? If we all lived selfish lives like that where would be fidelity, honor and a family with loving parents or children? Yet,the mockery continues and it keeps getting worse. What can then the righteous do?

It would seem that such selfish lifestyles are being embraced except for among a few pockets of resistance such as among Mennonites or the Hamish or those evangelical churches that have retained a traditional culture rooted in the faith and religion. If the old prophet Isaiah were alive he would have cried on the streets of New York, London or many of the world's cities that are heavens for a lifestyle of fornication "If God had not left us a remnant we would be like Sodom and even as Gomorrah" (Isaiah 1:9).

Live by TV Die on TV

Without any risk of sounding like an alarmist, we plainly observe the following. We see the fire burning all around us, families are going under, marriages are failing and children are without their mothers and fathers*. Due to the moral relativism that we live in today, we are left to fight our moral failures by confronting our insurrections on public television shows like Maury, Cheaters or The Steven Wilcox shows, way after they have become full blown and when only little or nothing can be done to save them. These venues have little power to effect change or bring about a solution as no one is able to invoke the divine moral code, The Ten Commandments or it's giver. How can someone be told that they have sinned when there are no clear defined laws that tell them what sin is? If the foundations be destroyed, what can the righteous do? A nation that could have been a light to the world, its shining example of justice, truth and morality has now parts that have become the moral scourge of the world, it's Babylon. It would wonderful if we had shows in TV land that are on par with regard to artistic creative aspects without compromise on good morals and righteous principles. It may be too late for that. Maybe it's time to jump ship before it sinks.

Excerpts: New Chapter: Communication

We will include here a small discussion of interpersonal communication as it relates to the search for love. The following questions are examples of how communication plays a role in our search for a suitable companion. How are the signals we are giving and receiving being interpreted or deciphered? How can we hone and develop our communication skills so people understand exactly what we want to convey? Can we tell if he or she interested? Does she or he like me? Is their body language a predictor of whether they will say ”Yes”, ”No” or the dreaded ”Let’s just be friends”? Are they getting what we mean? Do we need to make ourselves clearer or are we perhaps pitching too hard? Do we need to take a hint that we might not be someone’s cup of tea? All of these questions have to do with our abilities to read and understand the signals we are giving and receiving from people.

One of the things we will need to have while looking and interacting with prospective friends is good communication skills. A great communicator is someone who is also a great listener. They can put themselves in other people’s shoes and understand where they are coming from while at the same time being able to convey their own thoughts well.

Communication with people whose background is from ‘reserved’ cultures tends to be slow paced while it tends to move fast in open cultures like in the United States. People from cultures where the parents are the ones who go in search of an appropriate mate for their children might tend to be reserved, quite or even withdrawn. The western cultures are quite the opposite in this regard and people learn how to communicate very well early on in their development. It's helpful to be aware of this when we interact with people from various backgrounds.

A Timely honest direct approach
“Let your Yes be Yes and you No be no”

Communication Rule # 1: Don’t keep them hanging

Sometimes we know if we are interested in someone who is propositioning us but they might be oblivious to our own feelings. It therefore becomes a matter of conscience and good form to let them know if we are interested or not. Fear or shyness may not be a good quality when it comes to love and relationships as it can stall us for too long in an unresolved state.

Rule # 2 Be direct

If we are interested in someone we should talk to them with a reasonable amount of directness. One of the best ways to express our interest is to tell them what we are thinking through a well prepared letter. This might be better than bringing it up during a conversation, over coffee or over the phone, because it will allow us to think through what we want to say and correct any mistakes before we say it. However strong we might feel, it’s better to keep our pitch light and not be too heavy handed. If they don't reciprocate our feeling, it will give everyone an easy way out.

Caution: Misunderstood

Because The Lamb is who we emulate and kindness has become our nature people often misjudge our gestures for romantic interest both in and outside of the church. Therefore we have to be careful how we project ourselves not to give people the wrong ideas. Signals meant to convey ‘Phileo’ love are often misunderstood as Eros love so we need to be careful not to lead people on. At the same time we need to put out signals that that are clear enough for conveying the feeling or emotion we want to transmit to perspective friends. Nuff said. (That's all we will say her and now).

Excerpt: Holy Spirit guidance improved

Heeding our Sweet Holy Spirit
"it seemed good To the Holy Ghost and to us"

"He will lead you into all truth"

"Does The Holy Spirit take the role of being a match maker or does he leave things for men and women to decide for themselves? We believe the answer is 50/50. We see Him lead people in The Bible and in church history in various ways and in diverse situations. In at least on one instance, we see God telling a prophet(like Hosea) who exactly to marry in arguably one of the greatest love story books of the Old Testament. He is no doubt present to help us make good choices but may not override our will in this area. However, we would be foolish not to seek his voice and leading in this area or to ignore it after it's given. He might lead us to be cautious about a friendship we have started or tell us to hold off and wait or maybe even abort one altogether. Some might feel the need for a special time to pray and seek God in-order to get clarity.

11 "Now suppose one of you fathers is asked by his son for a fish ; he will not give him a snake instead of a fish, will he? 12 "Or if he is asked for an egg, he will not give him a scorpion, will he? 13 "If you then, being evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your heavenly Father give the Holy Spirit to those who ask Him?" Luke 11: 12-13

God has promised not to give us a serpent when we ask for an egg and we will stipulate here that this applies to many aspects of the Christian life including our search for a partner. The Holy Spirit more than anyone else would know who would suit us and whether two people can together have an enduring fruitful life that brings glory to God! If we find that we have a certain physical, emotional and intellectual compatibility with someone who is a Christian and that there is mutual interest, we should then run it by The Lord during prayer time to see how He would lead us, all the while studying the situation on the ground. This will give us a balanced approach that takes into consideration both spiritual and natural factors.

Seeking Holy Ghost Guidance
"He will lead you into all truth"

The Peace of God

17 But the wisdom that comes from heaven is first of all pure; then peace-loving, considerate, submissive, full of mercy and good fruit, impartial and sincere. 18 Peacemakers who sow in peace raise a harvest of righteousness. NIV James 3:17-18

In the above quote, The apostle is talking about differentiating wisdom that is from above from that which comes from man. Notice how peace is repeated throughout heavenly wisdom while it's missing from the earthly kind (verses 14-16)

One of the ways The Lord leads us or confirms something to us is by granting us His peace in a situation. The absence of such peace should be a warning to us that ''kingdoms might be in conflict'' and we may be treading in risky waters. We are not here talking about minor disagreements which are quite common to all relationships but about a deeper spiritual chasm that may exist between us and a perspective mate. If we sense peace from God we should be able to move forward and continue to interact with our intended, always doing things prayerfully.

Hearing From God

Knowing God's perfect will for our life requires that a certain level of spiritual maturity be present where we are exercised to know God's voice and leading for our lives. This usually means having proficiency in understanding the scriptures and a prayer life that loves to have a daily intimacy with God. If we are not sure ourselves, it's always good to enlist others to pray with us and for us asking for God's guidance. The people we enlist should be spiritual, mature and trustworthy Christians. We might also want to invest time to learn about how to know God's will and how to hear his voice for ourselves, as this will beneficial to us in every area of our life, not just courtship. Hearing God's still small voice usually means that we need to find times during the day for quite prayer, shut away from all the noise and clamor of the world.

The Scriptures: The Language of Heaven

The Word of God in The Bible is totally inspired and it is God-speak for mankind. The word of God is the wisdom of God. Studying God's Word regularly and systematically becomes paramount because it's also The Holy Spirit's language through which He mainly addresses us. If we don't learn this language whatever we hear will be confusing to us. Practicing these precepts we have studied daily in our life makes them to be second nature to us and will immediately affect our decision process and every area of our lives. Even if dreams and visions are supplementary and exciting ways through which The Lord opens up our understanding, they work in conjunction with and on the foundation laid by the scriptures. Daniel was reading The Word of God given to Jeremiah when he received his spectacular visions about the end (Daniel 9:2).

The Word always precedes anything else The Lord might speak to us or do in our lives and we should be invested in studying it. God has once and for all time, singularly and perfectly represented Himself in the scriptures and will not contradict them nor himself change. The More of the Bible we have read and understood the clearer we are going to be able to hear God and the more God can speak to us in supplementary ways without us falling into error or deception. Therefore let us not be Bible illiterate but let's learn heaven's common language with man, the scriptures, thoroughly. The treasury of wisdom we acquire even on one reading of The Bible can be tremendous and will grow incrementally as we commit to study it more.

*************************************************

Like what you just read? Why not get a copy of the whole book?

Are you single and lonely? This book will help prepare you for the rough and tumble world of dating and relationships. It's choke full of great wisdom and insights from scripture. You can read the whole book or listen to the Cd at one or two sittings and come away with very helpful, poweful nuggets to help you in your christian walk. While reading these inspirational book you will realize that you need never be lonely or feel lonely. We pray that the same anointing that helped us to write it will touch your life in a special way also.

This poweful Book is full of scriptures and insights that can and will be helpful to you, a friend or a loved one.

Subjects addressed include RELATIONSHIPS, Loneliness, LOVE, SEX, SINGLENESS, MARRIAGE, DIVORCE, spirituality, intimacy, Lonliness, ASB etc,

A sweeping look at the issue of marriage, singleness, lonliness and the Bible's council on such issues

50 PAGES,

BOOKLET FORMAT AND CD

Dissonanace: It's a rough world

The New world ethic and the reluctance to marry.

The modern sexual ethic does not bother with or require a marriage covenant before engaging in sex. This ethics is formulated by fallen men observing a fallen world and applying, a faulty fallen reasoning. If you go by trend setter TV shows like ‘Friends’ or ‘Seinfeld’ or other relationship dramas, it would seem like people want to experiment and exhaust all their options and tumble in bed with a bunch of people before they marry. Self is God and and it's pleasure is put above everything else, almost as if every last bit of juice has to be sucked out of the sensual entrée before finally giving into the married life. What's left for the eventual fortunate person to be the spouse? We wonder.

Thus in considerable sections of the post modern world, the traditional marriage has become a relic of a distant past that has been supplanted by something that only vaguely resembles it. The new mantra seems to say, "Be happy until you can't anymore any which way you like and later on if you feel like it you can always get married." We only wish we were making this up but that is the prevailing attitude in a lot of places.

The Value system inside The American Sitcoms

The sweet covered poison capsules, that come to us through TV sitcoms and dramas have become the playbook of life for a lot of singles. Sure, some of these programs are hilarious and they may even have some redeeming qualities but they chip away at the foundational principles that ought to be revered by everyone. The enduring success of sitcoms based on a married couple like 'Raymond' prove that 'the funnies' don't have to come at the expense of morality. However, the current slew of sitcoms and dramas, like for example, Charlie Sheen’s “Two and a half men” go even further in flaunting a hedonistic portrayal of relationships. What we as a people find funny can serve as rough barometer as to where we are in the history of western culture, where for a long while Christianity had held sway. Now, seemingly and apparently, people want their fill of selfish indulgence as a right of passage before having to commit to any relationships. They form convenient short term agreements for mutual gratification that are supposed to be ‘freeing’ such as the one made between Elaine and Seinfeld in one of the earlier episodes where they make a pact to sleep together without having to do the 'cumbersome' things that come with a real relationship. To be fair to the said characters, they only articulated the selfishness and sin smoldering beneath the veneer of a 'respectable' modern society. Of course, as even the characters eventually found out, it turns our that it’s not really freeing at all but rather a deceptive lie that traps people in a cycle of sinful liaisons, one regrettable affair after another. Sure, Joey from friends might be a nice guy but does he have to bag a new lady every other episode? Perhaps the character was being portrayed as having to compensate for other problems. In any case, if we all lived selfish lives like that where would be fidelity, honor and a family with loving parents or children?

Yet, it would seem that such selfish lifestyles are being embraced except for among certain pockets of resistance such as among Mennonites or the Hamish or those evangelical churches that have retained a traditional culture rooted in the faith and religion. If the old prophet Isaiah were alive he would have cried on the streets of New York, London or many of the world's cities that are heavens for a lifestyle of fornication "If God had not left us a remnant we would be like Sodom and even as Gomorrah" (Isa 1:9).

Without any risk of sounding like an alarmist, we can plainly observe the following. We see the fire burning all around us, families are going under, marriages are failing and children are without their mothers and fathers*. Due to the moral relativism that we live in today, we are left to fight our moral failures by confronting insurrections on public television shows like Maury, Cheaters or The Steven Wilcox shows, way after they have become full blown and when only little or nothing can be to save them. These venues have little power to effect change or bring about a solution as no one is able to invoke the divine moral code, The Ten Commandments. How can someone be told that they have sinned when there are no clear defined laws that tell them what sin is? If the foundations be destroyed, what can the righteous do?

It need not be doom and gloom on our side of the fence if we build our homes on a sure foundation and learn to protect and secure what’s ours before we go out to save the rest of the world. This can be done by filtering our culture’s sewage and outlawing and divesting from its forbidden fruits. The Church needs to stand on the scriptures where our immutable God has always been never to budge from His own eternal Word. We need to put the trumpet to our lips and sound the alarm.

Our dangling economy and our dwindling livelihoods are never the main issue; they are a justly deserved judgment on our hedonistic and irreverent lifestyles. The thieves have come in and stolen our whole moral foundation from underneath our feet and we need to get it back. We need to have a spiritual and a scriptural revival accompanied by genuine repentance The main question of life has always been "Now that you know and have heard, what will you do with this Jesus? Will you crucify Him or make Him The lord of your life?"


God’s patience and mercy

“The one with you now is not your husband”(John 4:18)

What would Jesus say? Even though we know Jesus is capable of anger, Jesus' exchange with the Samaritan woman, who was living with a man out of wedlock, was not angry at all. Instead He invites the lady to a drink from the waters of life, but He still calls her (foul?) on the issue. This is yet another illustration of God’s capacity for love, mercy and grace toward us humans. In other words, He lets us know that He doesn’t like what’s going on but gives us time to get it right. We need to repent and make those things that offend (Him) right while The Lord is still disposed to be patient toward us.

It’s apparent from Jesus’ life and words that Our Lord is more tolerant of sexual sin than he is of religious hypocrisy and wicked unbelief in the presence of a clear testimony. This should give hope to all those who are bound to such besting sins that they can be extricated from them through God’s compassionate mercy, patient grace and cleansing power.


Dissent leading to apostasy

There is now a language form on which this dissonant lifestyle moves and evolves. Terms like “no strings” that define behavior have been invented and are becoming common place. The collective language of the people is the software on which it runs its social interactions and be it in a microcosm or in larger sections of society. The fact that language has been invented to describe sexually free lifestyles shows how prevalent it has become and how it’s growing. The dissonance from the ‘old rule laid by the fathers’ is now apparent, a different ethic is being promulgated and social norms are changing where the old understanding of marriage is ever always put on the defensive and new types of marriages are being discussed.

Marriage also has a bad reputation for trapping its adherent’s into an unhappy place for long periods of time. Even if this is at times true, it doesn’t justify the alternative of sinfulness. Acoording to Tv Land, Wives are desperate and need to go outside their home and partner to experience relief. Women do sexual exploits and gather to swap stories about them cajoling and urging each other to go on and live 'free'. One can only guess as to how far ahead or behind the reality is in our communities, from such depictions(and whether these shows are purposed to create their own realities).

If the collective conscience is self correcting it’s either slow in doing so or is losing the battle for a return to moral purity. Large sections of the ‘structural’ church have had terrible scandals and the living church has lost her saltiness to be a moral deterrent. It’s no wonder people are reluctant to marry inside and outside the church.

In the beginning was The Word and The Word was God.
All things were made through him... The Word became flesh
He said… “he who eats my flesh has eternal life...
the flesh profits nothing, the Words that I have spoken to you are spirit and are life (John 1:1,3,14; 6:54, 63)

In contrast to the renegade and sinful lifestyles that don't work, imagine a software to life exists on which we are to run our lives in order to be whole. It has no bugs or glitches. That software is The Word and Jesus is that word. He is much more than just ‘software’; He is the nourishment of life itself. In one of his riddle laden discourses Jesus invites us to eat "himself"!? (which He explained to be His Word) so we can have life. This Word not only explains the world we live in but tells us how to live in it. It gives us the best available council on the important issues of life. We dare not reject it or replace it with empty philosophy or religion as its promise is life itself, a full life the way it was meant to be lived from the beginning.

The End

*Clayton B. Reid, Want to stay Married? Live in North Dakota News Max Mag. April, 2010 p.22

**********************************************

Like what you just read? Why not get a copy of the whole book?

Are you single and lonely? This book will help prepare you for the rough and tumble world of dating and relationships. It's choke full of great wisdom and insights from scripture. You can read the whole book or listen to the Cd at one or two sittings and come away with very helpful, powerful nuggets to help you in your christian walk. While reading these inspirational book you will realize that you need never be lonely or feel lonely. We pray that the same spirit that helped us to write it touches your life also.

This powerful Book is full of scriptures and insights that can and will be helpful to you, a friend or a loved one.

Subjects addressed include RELATIONSHIPS, Loneliness, LOVE, SEX, SINGLENESS, MARRIAGE, DIVORCE, spirituality, intimacy, Loneliness, ASB etc,

A sweeping look at the issue of marriage, singleness, loneliness and the Bible's council on such issues

50 PAGES,

BOOKLET FORMAT AND CD

Excerpts: Auto-sexual sin

Auto sexual sins
& Cheating on your future spouse

It’s now part of the common vernacular to speak of metro-sexual, homosexual, bisexual and transsexual persons. How about auto-sexual-ity? This would be having sex with oneself which is commonly known as masturbation. We will try to talk about it in a way that is not embarrassing to readers. It's the one sin* most often associated with being single or alone and (may) be classified among sins called 'uncleanness' or impurity in the New Testament. Uncleanness or impurity (Akatharos in our original Greek scriptures) is another inclusive term that describes all sexual activity that may be classified as impure.

Auto-sexuality is different from other sexual activities in that it acts on itself rather than on others. Subsequently, outside of the church, it has earned the label 'safe' and is seen as the medically and morally benign sexual activity of choice in the post AIDS world. Some have surmised that, we have all done it at some point in our lives presumably more than just a few times. This might be generally true and also seems to be supported by the statistics. This makes it a human frailty or behavior common to many of us. The increase of its employment since the advent of the new technologies has to be considerable as they has multiplied the avenues through which temptation comes to us. Many, Christian and non Christian alike have candidly said that they have participated in, struggled with or fallen into this activity. There is no question that it can be habit forming. Some will go as far us to say how addictive it has become and how they would like to be free from it.

There is a strong association with auto-sexuality and pornography and in fact porn probably owes its existence, continuance and profitability on the demand side to this human frailty and sin. Of course, one of the ways to curb this behavior is marriage and The Bible recommends it saying, “Because of 'porneas' ...It’s better to marry than to burn”. In the absence of a marriage bed, some will inevitably take matters into their own hands and use auto sexual activity as an outlet. Pastor Mark Driscoll of Seattle's Mar's Hill church gets into bold, extensive and graphic discussions about ASB both inside and outside of marriage. We have rather employed a cautious, modest and scriptural approach to this issue. However, we want to point out that our view is certainly not the only one out there and it might be good to comapare what we are saying with other writers and teachers on the subject.

Is The Devil in it? If he is, It must not be good!

Society has increasingly become tolerant of nearly all forms of sin. It must be this 'frog in slow boiling water' effect happening around us but some people including ministers have questioned whether auto sexual behavior (ASB) should be classed as a sin or even if there is anything wrong with it. We will not presume to speak this way here, especially since many people's conscience tells them otherwise and their confession bears out to it being detestable to themselves. The Bible clearly teaches that if our conscience condemns us about something and if it's not of faith then it must be sin (Romans 14:23). Therefore, we weigh in on the side that says, It is a selfish, lustful, unbecoming act and therefore should be judged as wrong. We say this not to condemn but in order edify and clear the way for godly alternatives.

Of the many contrary bible based arguments against ASB, we will give a few here. Firstly, It's an act usually accompanied by picturing and lusting after an image of someone who is not a spouse. This means that when we engage in ASB, we are committing fornications and adulteries in our heart and mind without leaving the comfort of our abode. Undoubtedly, sexual sin can progress from something as benign looking as lingering on the pages of circulars with underwear models to something a lot worse. Similarly, ASB can also turn into a bondage and become a stepping stone to more and even worse misadventures.

Secondly, if one regularly uses ASB as an outlet, the need for seeking a spouse is much lessened or becomes non existent. As sex was intended to be a shared experience, the loneliness of auto-sexuality can be detrimental to becoming a happy wholesome individual. One might as well sign on a paper that says 'lonely for life'. If we can turn on and turn off ourselves, why would we need to seek a spouse? Thirdly, it is hardly conducive to the biblical idea of cultivating a thought life that is pure and chaste and is in fact an antithesis to it. We fail to see how those who defend ASB can call it pure (Katharos in Greek). We therefore conclude from these and other scriptural arguments that, although it may not seem immediately grievous or harmful as some other sins in its effect, it's a sin nevertheless, something a holy people shouldn't perpetuate.

For God hath not called us unto uncleanness, but unto holiness"

(I Thessa. 4:7)

But fornication, and all uncleanness, or covetousness, let it not be once named among you, as becometh saints; Ephesians 5:3

A course of action

Based on the same scriptures we council instead that we all strive for a high standard of purity and holiness in the sight of God while we are single. Those who 'burn' let them seek to marry as there is no sin in that. If desire cannot be projected at a spouse it's lust. Our imagination needs to outlaw lust and be exercised to a higher, purer thought life which is our christian ideal (Phillipians 4:8; Romans 6:10-20). This is not just puritan idealism; it's a real, sound Biblical strategy and course of action for the many who earnestly desire holiness and don't want to be overcome by lustful thoughts. Failure is probable and inevitable at times because of our sin nature and our environment but we can improve and grow toward having a pure thought life, one which is abounding with transparent prayer(confession, petition, intercession and intimacy) with God's help. One of the precious promises of the gospel is to eventually come to a place of overcoming temptation in all its forms the way our lord Jesus did.

The christian answer to sin is neither too sanitary to be ignorant of our struggles with our sexuality nor is it un-wholesomely permissive. It rather strives to stay on the narrow road attended by prayer and holiness on either side while basking in the grace and mercy of The Lord. If any slippage occurs the way back on this happy road is always confession and genuine repentance which The Lord gladly and lovingly accepts.

Thank The Lord, He doesn't put us in front of a firing squad every time we fail because some of us would have died hundreds of times. The compassions of our lord and His grace are such that not only is He merciful to us but He also understands the temptations we are put under especially in today's world. He is there to help and empower us always and give us grace when we need it. Paul’s candid talk in chapter seven of Romans applies perfectly to this activity even if he was not directly speaking to just this issue.

19 For the good that I want, I do not do, but I practice the very evil that I do not want. 20 But if I am doing the very thing I do not want, I am no longer the one doing it, but sin which dwells in me. 21 I find then the principle that evil is present in me, the one who wants to do good. 22 For I joyfully concur with the law of God in the inner man, 23 but I see a different law in the members of my body, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin which is in my members. 24 Wretched man that I am! Who will set me free from the body of this death ? 25 Thanks be to God through Jesus Christ our Lord ! So then, on the one hand I myself with my mind am serving the law of God, but on the other, with my flesh the law of sin.

(Romans 7)

*Sin is defined as breaking God's laws or being disobedient to His precepts. There may not be direct references to ASB in scripture just as there is none for smoking or certain types of drug use. We believe and argue that it fits in and can be classed with references having to do with sexual impurity or uncleanness.

Like what you just read? Why not get a copy of the whole book?

Are you single and lonely? This book will help prepare you for the rough and tumble world of dating and relationships. It's choke full of great wisdom and insights from scripture. You can read the whole book or listen to the Cd at one or two sittings and come away with very helpful, poweful nuggets to help you in your christian walk. While reading these inspirational book you will realize that you need never be lonely or feel lonely. We pray that the same anointing that hepled us to write it will touch your life in a special way also.

This poweful Book is full of scriptures and insights that can and will be helpful to you, a friend or a loved one.

Subjects addressed include RELATIONSHIPS, Loneliness, LOVE, SEX, SINGLENESS, MARRIAGE, DIVORCE, spirituality, intimacy, Lonliness, ASB etc,

A sweeping look at the issue of marriage, singleness, lonliness and the Bible's council on such issues

50 PAGES,

BOOKLET FORMAT AND CD

You can buy a hard copy of the complete blog 'Never Lonely' and an audio book CD using the paypal button bellow.