Excerpts: Open letter to those facing divorce

"For I hate divorce," says the LORD, the God of Israel, "and him who covers his garment with wrong," says the LORD of hosts. "So take heed to your spirit, that you do not deal treacherously. Malachi 2:16"

Open Letter: To Those Facing Divorce

According to scripture, divorce is one of the dire effects of the fall of man, the emergence of sin and a heart condition which Jesus called "the hardness of our hearts". The single state is the only viable scriptural option for one during this time of brokenness, separation and the related anxieties. It allows for the time and process to heal from the pain of the divorce and to get in gear in order to be able to lead a full and fruitful life in its aftermath. In such a time one should draw near to The Lord so one can find healing and strength.

It should be a reason for great hope that "with God, all things are possible" including restoration of a broken marriage and the changing of the hearts of the individuals involved. The above quote by Jesus was spoken in reference to securing a deliverance in an impossible situation and we dare say it can apply here also. Just like the father in Luke's gospel waited for the lost son to come to his senses and return home one can hope and pray for the return of one's spouse. We are not told how long the father had to wait before being able to embrace his son; it may have been a year, two or even six years before the son returned. This may sound ridiculous by today's standards but it can give one time to heal, reflect and wait until clarity comes. Its a sad reality but one has to also prepare oneself to accept the finality of their separation especially if the other party goes ahead and gets married.

Having a forgiving heart will be always paramount in these situations regardless of the outcome so one can move forward especially when children are involved. One can then begin to pray for and anticipate whatever designs and purposes The Lord may have for them. It's no surprise then that the standards set for us by scriptures are very high when it come to marriage and divorce, as the family is the cell unit of a community or a nation. The well being of oneself and one's children, love and peace in the home, all depend in large part on God's laws concerning marriage being honored and remaining the community standard. We are responsible not only ourselves but for our neighbors' also. This is the heart of The Law of God.

People on the brink of divorce should reflect and identify what behaviors and attitudes led to a rift during the marriage and ask God to effect change in them and their spouse. Were there things like infidelity, jealousy, malice or being too controlling with each other? Prayers and supplications should be made for change and healing concerning any known issues. There is bound to be plenty of hard work, sweat and blood but couples should consider it to be their sacred duty and a worthwhile sacrifice, made in order to save their marriage. Even in a sin tattered world, if there is love and if contentious spirits can be put aside, there is no doubt marriages can be saved; for the very Almighty himself is for them, not against them! Even though it may be unrealistic to guarantee that an agreement between fighting spouses will be reached every time on every issue; God has promised to come in their midst and grant their prayers when they do decide to agree. This is a tremendous promise! Both the man and the woman should try to save their marriage by making the right concessions, compromises and by working toward changing their behavior and attitude which brought them near to a break up.

31 Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. 32 Be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you.

Ephesians 4:31-32


Kindness and tenderness should replace harsh words and unkind remarks. Both sides should tender some compromise on contentious issues and try to find a workable middle ground. Couples need to remind themselves that It's God who gave them oneness of spirit and body (Malachi 2:16). Since God was part to their original agreement and since we know He hates divorce, we can safely assume that He will not agree to their divorce even if one or even both of them wish it or want it. The devil on the other hand wants to destroy marriages so people need to be aware of the spiritual aspects of the predicament they will find themselves in if they don't tread carefully and prayerfully. God can't make two people agree; they have to do that themselves, but if and when they do heaven will become part of the equation and solution to their problems. Subsequently couples in trouble should pray together for the renewal of their covenant. They should also agree to commit to work on their issues together and begin with a fresh new start by forgiving each other of past hurts. People who feel their marriage is going stale should do whatever it takes to keep it fresh and alive so things do not deteriorate for them through neglect.


Patience required
The golden oil of heaven

"Love is patient"


Last and yet not least, Most escalations of a couple's conflict has to do with their capacity to tolerate each others imperfections. Therefore the strength of the marriage is based on the amount of patience they are able to foster towards each other. We need to always pray to be able to better exercise patience and practice 'her' sister virtues in our daily interactions. It's one of the attributes of our Lord that He is patient towards us and it's also one of the premiere godly attributes necessary for couples. Patience is the golden oil for all relationships which keeps their wheels from locking, helping them to run smoothly. It is an important ingredient that gives room for one's better half to grow. Where this attribute is practiced liberally couples can cultivate their weaknesses and turn them into strengths thereby allowing themselves to be a good mate for each other. .

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This poweful Book is full of scriptures and insights that can and will be helpful to you, a friend or a loved one.

Subjects addressed include RELATIONSHIPS, Loneliness, LOVE, SEX, SINGLENESS, MARRIAGE, DIVORCE, spirituality, intimacy, Lonliness, ASB etc,

A sweeping look at the issue of marriage, singleness, lonliness and the Bible's council on such issues

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